Spiritual Hiccups - Are You There, God?

I love the LORD, because he has heard
    my voice and my supplications.
Because he inclined his ear to me,
    therefore I will call on him as long as I live.  

from Psalm 116

If you are a person of faith, I assume that you have had moments where God's presence was very real to you, when it seemed that God's ear was inclined to you.  But I also assume that there surely are or have been times when it does not seem so, that God seems absent or uninterested in you.  And when such moments drag on, they can make for a profound faith crisis.

When people have a personal encounter with God, when they touch divine mystery in some way, it is an experience that produces a desire for more and deeper experiences of God.  In this it is not unlike meeting someone with whom we feel an intimate connection.  We want to spend time with them, to explore and go deeper in that relationship.  We experience a longing for this person.  And in a similar way, people who have felt God's presence often experience a longing for God.

Of course relationships can go awry.  If those difficulties in connecting last very long, they can intensify the longing for the other, but they can also begin to produce a widening gulf between two people.  And when that happens, very often the disciplines and rituals of the relationship began to break down.  At the moment the relationship most needs help and support, couples can abandon the simple, sometimes mundane regimens of togetherness that allow for a closeness where more intimate connection is possible.

In similar fashion, I sometimes find that when I am struggling to connect with God, I can begin to abandon the simple rituals of togetherness that help maintain a closeness where deeper connection is possible.  At the times I most need to draw near to God, I sometimes quit spiritual disciplines of prayer, silence, contemplation, and Sabbath.  At such times I must look a little like a husband hanging out late at the bar, night after night, complaining to those around him that his wife - who will be asleep by the time he gets home - won't talk to him.

Are you there, God?  My heart longs for you.  I am here, waiting and listening for you.  Draw near to me.  I am here.  I will be here.  Be here with me.

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