Spiritual Hiccups - Wellness and Other Strange Things

We Presbyterians don't have confessionals, and it is rare that someone comes to me to confess anything.  But we do have confession as an integral part of our worship services.  Each week, in some form or fashion, thousands of Presbyterian congregations (and other denominations) pray a prayer of confession together, have a time for silent personal confession, hear a prayer of confession offered on their behalf, or some combination thereof.  And then, we're forgiven.  "Believe the good news! In Jesus Christ you are forgiven," or something similar is said, and then we move on in the service.

I occurs to me that I've never discussed with very many people how they experience that moment.  I have heard complaints over the years that prayers of confession are "downers" accompanied by a request to drop them.  I've had people tell me they didn't think the prayer in the bulletin applied to them.  But I've never heard much about what it means or how it feels to be forgiven.

Jesus finds himself in hot water over his "Your sins are forgiven you," in our gospel reading today.  We toss around forgiveness as freely and easily as a "Hi, how are you," on Sunday morning.  But to some of the religious folks in the synagogue with Jesus, his offer of forgiveness was a huge deal, something they couldn't believe he had the authority to do.

And so Jesus heals a paralyzed man as proof of his authority.  Makes me glad no one ever challenges my authority to forgive.  Faith healings have never been my forte.  Not much likelihood of me causing a stir in the sanctuary one Sunday morning with people in awe, glorifying God, and saying, "We have seen strange things today."

I wonder what things they thought were the strangest.  Healing a paralyzed man is no small feat, but the original issue is the authority to forgive.  And for that matter, did Jesus think this paralyzed man needed forgiveness more than he needed healing?  Strange things indeed.

I think one of my own troubles with this passage is a tendency to think of God's forgiveness in terms of a category, something I have or don't.  This is often linked to notions of salvation, and so forgiveness becomes about categories of in and out.  But I'm gradually coming to see forgiveness as a wellness issue, as something that addresses addresses what ails us both individually and corporately.

When I look at my own life and the relationships I have; when I look at our society and the current state of partisan rancor, it seems that I and many others carry around with us lots of hurts and wounds, lots of grudges and enmity, and significant difficulty trusting others.  We need to protect ourselves against the other.  Sometimes this other is our enemy or opponent, and sometimes this other is someone we love.  And all these relationship problems get carried over into our relationship with God.  When we are angry at God, we often won't admit it.  We feel the need to hide parts of ourselves from God for self protection. 

And so all of us desperately need forgiveness.  Not the "You're forgiven and now on God's good side" sort of forgiveness, but the restored relationship with God and others sort of forgiveness.  We all desperately need this sort of healing forgiveness that frees us to be more fully alive, that frees us to discover deep joy in loving God, self, and others.

Jesus said to those questioning his authority to forgive, "Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are  forgiven you,' or to say, 'Stand up and walk'?"  Strange things indeed.

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