Spiritual Hiccups - Do As I Say

One of the buzzwords among those who talk about congregational vitality and renewal is integrity.  In other words, make sure people who visit your congregation see you living out what you say you believe.  The charge that religious people are hypocrites has been around as long as I can remember, but in an age when religious participation is no longer expected of people, this notion that Christians are hypocrites becomes more of a burden for congregations.  Integrity casts off this burden by working diligently to have our actions match our words.

Jesus speaks of this in today's gospel. A father tells his two sons to go and work in the vineyard.  One says "Yes," but does not go, while the other says, "No," but later does go.  Jesus is addressing religious leaders, and he clearly casts them as those who get the words right but fail to do what they should.

It strikes me that pastors are often judged more on our words than on our actions.  In many congregations, members "know" the pastor primarily from her or his presence in worship.  And traditionally, much of seminary training is focused on getting the words right.  Do we know how to carefully study a passage of Scripture, including studying its words in their original Hebrew or Greek?  Do we know our theology and doctrines?  Can we piece together a compelling sermon?

Without minimizing the importance of any of these, it is entirely possible to talk the talk without walking the walk.  I recently read an article about a support group for atheist pastors.  These pastors at one point felt a call to ordained ministry, but somewhere along the way they lost their faith.  Yet not having other marketable skills, they have remained pastors out of "financial necessity."  That they are able to continue serving congregations with no one being the wiser says something about what those congregations expect of their pastors.

I've never felt a pull to become an atheist, but I do know how to encourage people to be more faithful without necessarily listening to that message myself.  I know how to call people to trust their lives to God, all the while while acting like the congregation's successes or failures are purely a matter of my leadership and competence. 

I feel that I have grown deeper spiritually in recent years, yet I can still neglect the walk.  Those moments when things are going poorly, when I have way too much to do, or when I'm unsure what I should do, are often the very moments when I pray less (too busy) and rely on my own insights rather than seeking God's will.

I think that is why I am fond of Advent. (Advent understood as a waiting attentiveness to God's presence rather than a warmup for Christmas.)  The waiting, watchful, attentive pose of Advent helps me refocus and become open to the transforming work of the Spirit that shapes me more and more for a life of integrity that matches the words.

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