But I Don't Wanna Be Weak

Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Paul's words about God's grace being sufficient, about power made perfect in weakness, are much quoted in Christian circles, thought I'm not sure that means many of us believe such things. Whenever I am weak, then I am strong? Really? Is that why I make such efforts to hide my weaknesses, to project strength and certainty? And I don't think I'm the only one. 

Think of all the phrases that speak to situations with competition, conflict, difficulty, or struggle. Bring your A-game. Never let them see you sweat. You can do it. Man up. Don't tread on me. Speak softly and carry a big stick. I can't think of any that say, "Boast in your weakness."

Over the years, I have seen that the more bluster I use, the more I try to project power and might, the more I usually end up regretting things later. Yet that still hasn't made me want to embrace weakness. It still hasn't made me willing to be vulnerable in the face of people who frighten me, or worry me, or who I think might cause trouble if I don't stop them.

It's rarely a good idea to treat a single scripture verse as though it was an end all and be all. Indeed there are other scripture verses that call us to be bold or strong or courageous. Yet clearly Jesus exemplified the sort of weakness Paul speaks of here. Jesus was brave and steadfast in the face of difficulties, even in the face of death, but he did not employ power or might to deal with them. He employed what looked to all the world like weakness.

I wonder if one area where church leaders would do well to display "weakness" more isn't in the area of faith itself, to be more vulnerable and forthcoming about our own doubts and faith struggles. There is already a tendency for people to assume that pastors are some sort of spiritual titans. And quite often we are more than happy to feed such assumptions. I wonder if we worry that showing our faith weaknesses might damage our pastoral reputations. Or maybe our projections of spiritual strength are for our own benefit, to ward off our own fears.

On some level, my fear of being weak or showing weakness is about trusting my own abilities over the power of Christ working through me. But given how often I mess things us, it seems strange that I haven't leaned this lesson a little better by now.

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