Sermon: Loving God Back

 John 3:14-21
Loving God Back
James Sledge                                                                          Lent 4 – March 14, 2021

It was a very long time ago, but I can still recall what for me were the terrors of dating. I was never very good at asking someone out on a date. I found it intimidating. I suppose I’m one of those folks who doesn’t handle rejection very well, and it was awful to contemplate being dismissed by someone I was attracted to.

And when I did start dating someone, and things seemed to be going pretty well, another terror eventually reared its head. At what point was it safe to express the depth of my feelings? I assume this is a fairly common experience as I’ve seen comics do standup routines about blurting out “I love you” only to be met with silence.

But should the person respond with an “I love you, too,” another potential crisis moment may yet lie ahead. At some point the topic of marriage might come up, and here again, the possibility of being the only one interested in that level of commitment is real.

It seems there are a number of crisis moments along the road of love. There are moments when the relationship could move forward, or it could begin to unravel. It all depends on how the other person responds when they hear, “Do you want to go to a movie,” or “I love you,” or “Would you marry me?” It all depends on whether or not that other person is able to return your love, to love you back.

Most people think of love as a good thing, even a wonderful thing, but there are frightening moments along the way, make or break moments.

I’m not sure it is all that different with God’s love. There is a moment when the depth of God’s love for us becomes apparent, and then we have to respond. God says, “I love you,” and then waits to see what we will do. It’s a crisis moment on the road of divine love.

I think that is what Jesus is talking about in our gospel reading this morning. Our verses are part of a much longer passage the begins when Nicodemus, a Pharisee, comes to see Jesus at night. Nicodemus is clearly impressed by Jesus, and he comes hoping to learn more. But he is also wary. Presumably he comes at night so he won’t be seen.

Nicodemus struggles to understand. When Jesus talks to him about the need to be “born from above,” Nicodemus takes Jesus literally and hears “born again.” Jesus’ attempts to further explain things make no headway, and the last thing we hear Nick say is “How can these things be?” After that, Nicodemus seems to disappear from the scene. In the verses just prior to our reading, Jesus shifts from speaking to “you” singular, instead addressing “you” plural. The gospel never reports Nicodemus’ departure, but by the time we hear Jesus’ words this morning, he is talking past Nicodemus to the readers of John’s gospel.

Our reading has one of the more famous lines from the gospel. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 gets written on posters and bumper stickers and featured in tattoos. One fellow became famous for wearing a rainbow wig and holding a sign the read, John 3:16.

It’s easy to see why this verse is a favorite. God loves the world so much that Jesus would come and even die to show the depth of that love. It’s also easy to see why no one ever holds up a sign that reads John 3:18, “…but those who do not believe are condemned already,” or John 3:19, “And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light…” Let’s just talk about how nice God’s love is, not how it produces a crisis.

Perhaps it will interest you to know that the Greek word translated “judgment” is kri/sij (krisis) the origin of our word crisis. It can also be translated “decision” or “choice,” and that is exactly what must be done when someone says, “I love you,” when God says “I love you.” You must decide if you are going to love the person back, if you are going to love God back.

When someone says, “I love you,” you must go one way or the other. If you return the love you move toward them. If you can’t or won’t love the person back, you push them away. The crisis that comes with “I love you,” doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room. Even if you don’t respond at all, that is a response. You’ve given an answer.

I wonder if people intuitively realize this about God’s love and so look for ways to forestall the crisis. A lot of church folks work pretty hard at not getting serious with God. For some reason the whole religion thing feels comforting to them or they feel a certain pull toward faith, but they don’t dare let it go too far. They don’t want to get in too deep.

Perhaps that’s the case with Nicodemus whose nighttime visit to Jesus prompted the words that we heard this morning, words about the crisis of encountering the bright light of God’s love.

I wonder if Nicodemus even heard these words. I’ve always thought that when Jesus shifts from a singular you to a plural one that it’s just a literary device, a way the gospel writer lets the reader hear Jesus addressing them. But perhaps Nicodemus has already slipped away into the night and is no longer there. He’s put some distance between himself and Jesus before any moment of crisis can arise. But he’s made his decision. He came in the dark and he leaves in the dark. “And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light…”

That’s a little depressing. Nicodemus doesn’t go all in for Jesus when he meets him, and that’s it? He’s condemned already because he couldn’t do anything more than hang around the edges, couldn’t actually respond to God’s “I love you” in the right way? Then what about all of us who hang around the edges and avoid getting serious with God?

Nicodemus, who comes to Jesus in the dark and slinks away in the dark doesn’t ever come back for a second visit. He never sees Jesus again as far as we know. But this is not the last time Nick appears in John’s gospel. His final appearance is in broad daylight, when Jesus dies on the cross and Joseph of Arimathea comes to ask Pilate for the body. John’s gospel tells us, Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing almost a hundred pounds.

That’s an incredibly extravagant gift Nicodemus brings for Jesus’ funeral. Somewhere in the years between that confused, nighttime conversation and the cross, he must have come to that crisis point and decided to step into the light. Nick seemed to have been judged already, condemned already. He hid from the light. He couldn’t quite believe that Jesus was indeed God’s “I love you” to the world.

But God so loves the world, a world that often resists God. And if Nicodemus is any guide, God takes the long view of things. God’s “I love you” hovers over the world, over all creation, waiting for us to recognize it for what it is and respond. “I love you, too,” waiting for us to learn how to love God back.