in the morning my prayer comes before you.
O LORD, why do you cast me off?
Why do you hide your face from me?
Wretched and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer your terrors; I am desperate.
Your wrath has swept over me;
your dread assaults destroy me.
They surround me like a flood all day long;
from all sides they close in on me.
You have caused friend and neighbor to shun me;
my companions are in darkness.
I'm not sure that these words from Psalm 88 fit with some stereotyped notions of faith. I know many people of deep faith who would never admit to doubts, much less allow themselves to complain to or blame God. Doubts about God's presence and anger at God seem to many the antithesis of faith, and so many are loath to admit such "weaknesses" publicly.
I've never really known if those who tell me they never doubt are being dishonest with me or with themselves, or if they really don't know doubt as a part of their faith. But I do think that this public face of faith as something that never doubts can be an obstacle to new people joining the faith. When churches give the impression that faith is about being certain, that it doesn't experience doubts, questions, and times when God seems to have vanished, then they make church an uncomfortable place for those who are struggling to find God, for whom God and faith often seem a fleeting experience.
I have long been thankful for the many psalms that embrace complaint, doubt, and even anger toward God. That Jesus voiced one of these psalms from the cross says to me that he also knew something of doubt and feeling abandoned by God. And I think congregations that are open about their own faith struggles become much more welcoming places for others who are hoping to discover God's love in the midst of a broken world.
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