Spiritual Hiccups - I Don't Get It

Some days I read through all the texts from the lectionary, and nothing.  I hear the words and recognize familiar stories, but nothing connects; nothing resonates.  I write these daily "hiccups" as much as a spiritual practice for myself as I do for others who read them.  But on those days when when God utters not a peep to me from Psalms, Old Testament, Epistle, or Gospel, these posts turn into something of chore.  I try to think of something helpful to say about the readings, but it feels more an academic than spiritual exercise.

Today was such a day, but after reading the texts, I vowed not to produce any academic notes on them.  So what to say?  I mulled this over for much of the morning and wondered about writing on the topic of not hearing anything, of not understanding.  At one point I came back to the Gospel reading and was struck by Jesus' words to his disciples when they get confused over his "yeast of the Pharisees" remark.  "Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear?"  And then a bit later Jesus says again, "Do you not yet understand?"

Well at least I'm not the only one who sometimes hears but doesn't get it.  And I wonder about what I share in common with those disciples who, especially in Mark's gospel, often come off as clueless and doltish.

I suspect that one problem those first disciples had was fitting Jesus into the religious framework and categories they already had.  Jesus challenged so many assumptions about faithful life with God, about what a Messiah looked like, about what authentic human life was, that he didn't fit into the religious slots and containers that people had.  The result, even among his closest followers, was sometimes confusion and bewilderment.

But surely that's not my problem?  Surely all the centuries of Christian faith have provided me with all the necessary tools to decipher and understand Jesus, to distill a neat picture of what it looks like to be a Christian.  


But what if I am much more like those first disciples than I know?  What if my religious labels, categories, and doctrines (however necessary they may be) sometimes need to be shattered if I am to see God's transforming power at work in Jesus?  


Come, Holy Spirit.  Open my eyes to God's presence that won't fit into the old wineskins I've become accustomed to and comfortable with.  Open my heart to the possibility of something new, of something more wonderful than my understanding could ever see.


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