In today's reading from Mark, Jesus explains to his disciples that he will be betrayed, executed, and then rise again. "But they did not understand what he was saying and were afraid to ask him." Especially in Mark's gospel, the disciples can come off as incredibly obtuse. What's so hard to understand? But in truth, most of us struggle to makes sense of suffering. We avoid it at all costs so why would the Messiah embrace it?
Over the centuries the Church has come up with a number of formulas and doctrines to neatly explain Jesus' suffering and death. Some of us have become so used to these that we don't even notice how problematic it is to speak of a God who "needs" someone to suffer and die for our sin. But I wonder if our doctrines of atonement don't also make Jesus' suffering such a special case that it has no connection to the suffering that is part of our lives.
Numerous times Jesus calls his followers to emulate him, to "take up the cross." He speaks of finding one's life in the act of losing it. And the Apostle Paul speaks of our need to be crucified with Christ, to die to the old self and become new. Jesus and Paul both seem to think that suffering plays a key role in us becoming who we are called to be.
Now I want to be careful not to make light of another person's suffering by saying, "It's good for you." I don't presume to know when suffering is or isn't good or redemptive. But I do wonder if suffering of some sort isn't required to move us from where are to where God wants us to be.
Not many of us would claim to be perfect as we are. Most of us are acutely aware not only of certain faults but also of a darkness inside that we do our best to keep hidden from others. But at the same time, most of us are averse to change. The devil we know is better than the unknown, and real change is a step into the unknown.
Paul said that becoming a new creation in Christ requires the death of the old self. But what could be more frightening than to lose your self? I am happy for faith to improve my life, make me happier, or make me feel more fulfilled. But when you start to talk about radically changing who I am, I can quickly become as obtuse as those disciples trying to figure out what Jesus was talking about when he described his own suffering and death.
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