Spiritual Hiccups - Relationship Problems

I have long thought that Jesus' lament over the city of David is one of the more poignant utterances in the Bible.  "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!"  The sadness that I hear in Jesus' voice is all the more striking given his description of "the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it!"  Despite the city's long history of spurning God, Jesus wants only to drawn them to himself.

God's desire for us and our resistance...  Surely this is one of the great mysteries of our existence.  Oh, I know that there are theological formulations that can account for all these behaviors, but from a personal, experiential level, how is it that humanity, that I, can be so unyielding in the face of God's desire? 

For my own part, there are many times when I would appreciate God being a bit more obvious about longing to draw me in.  Frequently God seems far too subtle for me, and I feel that I must struggle to sense God's desire.

But at the same time, I seem to have an uncanny ability to dismiss and "forget" those moments when God's presence has been more dramatic, when God's desire for me has been palpable.  And when I try to remember and draw strength from those moments, too often they feel like someone else's memories, like stories of faith rather than my own experience of it.

What is it about this relationship dance with God that is so difficult for many of us?  Perhaps that is why some of us are content with some sort of institutional religion.  At least the rules are clear.  At least we know just what to do and to expect.  But a lot of people are saying this isn't enough.  I think that the struggles of traditional churches in our time grow in part from this.  People have a vague sense of the poignancy in Jesus' longing for us, and they want to feel it, to know it.

I saw  Twitter conversation yesterday that started with someone's speaking of joining a monastery and gradually evolved into talking about how congregations could be urban monasteries.  And if this means congregations as places where we all learn how to open ourselves to God's desire, where we learn the steps of the relationship dance with God, then that seems a pretty compelling image to me.


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