Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Spiritual Hiccups - Real Enough to Fear?

Yesterday I posted something on facebook saying that I was struggling with exactly how to handle the anniversary of 9-11 in worship this Sunday.  Judging from the handful of comments, most understood my quandary, though some didn't seem to appreciate that my struggle was about how a national day of remembering fits within a time of worshiping God.  Similar issues arise when July 4th comes on a Sunday.  Is celebrating our loyalty to a nation appropriate in a time set aside to worship God and profess our absolute loyalty to Christ as King and Lord?

Interestingly, today's gospel reading features Matthew's story of wise men (no number is given) from the East.  When they come to Herod's palace in Jerusalem, seeking the child born king of the Jews, their search strikes fear in the hearts of Herod, "and all Jerusalem with him."  The source of Herod's fear is obvious.  He is king, and a new king is a threat to his status.  But what about "all of Jerusalem?"  Presumably their fear is about the change and upheaval a new king might bring.  Herod wasn't actually a Jew, but he rebuilt the Temple and he maintained the Jewish traditions.  He was a known quantity and everyone knew the rules and how the system worked.  A new king threatened all that.

I seems to me that the lordship of Jesus, his claim to be King, is a threat to all other powers, lords, and loyalties, even in our day.  And yet, I have rarely experienced much fear around this.  The Old Testament frequently encourages people the "fear Yahweh," and the Old Testament reading for this coming Sunday tells of the Israelites crossing the Sea on dry ground as they escape Egypt and Pharaoh's army.  Afterwards, "the people feared Yahweh."  Yet I have rarely feared God.

Perhaps my lack of fear comes from knowing a loving God, from such an intimate relationship with God's love in Jesus that this has removed all fear.  It would be nice to think so, but I suspect my lack of fear more often is the product of being unimpressed by God.

God isn't much of a threat to my comfortable routines and patterns because, more often than not, God isn't all that powerful a presence in my life.  Jesus' lordship isn't real enough that turning the other cheek or loving my enemy actually seems like an option.  Trusting God and following Jesus even if this leads to suffering (much less death) are not really things I think much about.  But the juxtaposition of worship and 9-11 remembrance uncomfortably reminds me of how little my faith impacts my life.

I've never allowed worship to display much patriotic fervor because my theology taught me well that God is sovereign and that Christ is Lord of all.  I "know better" than to let the day lose its focus on being a "sabbath to Yahweh."  But my theological correctness is not the same as becoming a new creation in Christ.  It is not the same as experiencing God's presence so vividly and trusting God's love so fully that I want to bow down and say, "Whatever you ask, I will do.  Wherever you send my, I will go.  Whatever the cost, I will gladly bear it."

I love the study of theology and think it invaluable to the Church.  But what I need in the core of my being is not better information about God, but a more vivid experience of God's presence, one that shakes me and moves me and transforms me.  Come, Lord Jesus!

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1 comment:

  1. Study of theology and of the bible helps to return and focus my attention on what is most important to me. Ironically, it also focuses attention to what is most difficult and troubling. 'Fear' in response to an experience of God's presence and power is perfectly appropriate for believer and doubter alike. The shades of meaning and interpretation of the word 'fear' seem, however, to give way to a variety of misunderstands and anthropomorphism of God. In any event, this Sunday, I too intend to retain the day's focus on the "Sabbath to Yahweh."

    But what will be in the minds of many is worthy fodder for spiritual and philosophical consideration. The time of 9/11 remembrance is for me colored, and somewhat distorted by my belief that popular understandings of those events in 2001 are utterly and terribly wrong, and at some point will be openly exposed as such. So my attention this week is "composed" of incompatible parts.

    In a very candid moment of a sermon, you once disclosed that preachers will sometimes complain to/with each other about their congregations. It occurred to me that many congregants probably complain about their congregations similarly; imagining how much better the world might be if others believed and/or behaved differently and better in some way(s).

    This Sunday, in turning attention toward God, I will consider the partiality of my understanding, (not just that of my fellow believers), and petition Yahweh to open for me the gates to wisdom, knowledge, and love in all its expressions.

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