1 Corinthians 12:1-11
I Come Bringing Gifts, says the Spirit
James Sledge January
17, 2016
When
I was in high school, I briefly went out with a girl whose religious background
was a bit more fundamentalist and Pentecostal than mine. At first I found the
differences novel and even exciting. Raised a staid Presbyterian, a bit of
religious enthusiasm was a refreshing change of pace. But eventually the
novelty wore off for me, in part because of episodes like this one I’m going to
share.
We
once attended a late night worship service. I can’t recall exactly what the
occasion was, but the service featured the Lord’s Supper with a twist I’d never
encountered. We came forward to receive communion, but not by rows. The pastor
told us to wait until we felt the presence of God, until the Spirit urged us to
come forward.
I
waited. I hoped for some tug on my heart, some stirring in my soul that would draw
me to the table. But as time passed, and as I heard people moving around me, I
began to check on other folks’ progress. I was in no rush, but as more and more
people went forward and no spiritual fire, or even warmth, came over me, I
began to worry.
I
waited some more. I was a novice at this and wasn’t overly clear on just how it
was supposed to work. I increased my concentration and tried to heighten my
inner attentiveness. But another glance made it clear I was in danger of being
the very last person to go forward, and so I got up and went to the table.
Afterwards,
I wondered about all those who went to the table ahead of me. Were they tuned
to a divine frequency that I did not know how to access, or was it something
else? I wondered how many people went forward for the same reason I did,
because they didn’t want to be left out?
I
was suspicious that there had to be a great deal of the latter, and I think the
episode left me with a fair amount of skepticism, even cynicism regarding
spiritual experience. Better to stick with a faith that could be worked out via
reason and scholarship. Turned out I was a lot more comfortable being a staid,
keep-it-all-in-the-head, Presbyterian.
It
was many years before I had anything like the spiritual experience I had hoped
for at that late-night communion service. God does tug at the heart. The Spirit
has stirred my soul and warmed, even enflamed my heart at times. But it does
not happen on command, and the Spirit is as likely to surprise me as to follow
the formula I expect.