Spiritual Hiccups - But They Doubted

The first big paper I had to write as a seminary student was on today's gospel reading.  All of us in the imaginatively titled "New Testament I" had to write an exegetical paper on The Great Commission in Matthew.  I recall that my translation of the text was slightly different from the NRSV.  Mine read, "When they saw him the worshiped him; but they doubted," rather than the "some doubted" in my Bible.  My knowledge of Greek was certainly no match for the NRSV translators, but my professor, Jack Kingsbury, apparently had no issues with my version.

I confess that while I think my translation a more natural reading of the Greek, I also like it for other reasons.  It seems truer to my own faith.  I worship and I doubt. 

As a pastor, I can't begin to recall how often I've heard people turn down a nomination to be an officer, say "No" to a request to teach a class, or explain why they've never shared their faith with a neighbor, because their faith wasn't strong enough.  Very often, it seems, people believe their faith hasn't reach a sufficient threshold for them to be called into Christ's service.  Yet the very last thing we hear about the disciples before Jesus sends them out is, "But they doubted." 

Jesus doesn't wait until we are fully qualified before calling and commissioning us.  In fact, if he did there would be no Church.  Jesus calls struggling, doubting, imperfect sinners to represent him in the world.  And he promises to be with us and equip us so that we can do all he asks of us... even when we doubt that.

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