"Where did you get to know me?" So says Nathanael to Jesus when they first meet. He is startled when Jesus seems to already know something about him. I suppose that this story is a way for John's gospel to impress us with Jesus' divinity, his ability to observe Nathanael as only God could do. But I am captivated by Nathanael's question.
The desire to connect with God is a desire to know and to be known. I long to know God better, and the most frustrating faith moments for me are when God's seems distant and removed. But I often try to keep part of myself from God. To be fully known is to be completely vulnerable. Perhaps that is why Nathanael's question grabs me so. Perhaps I imagine him to be frightened at the prospect that this Jesus can see into him so easily.
Most of us keep secrets even from those who know us best. It is difficult to trust someone so fully that we can be totally vulnerable to them. Perhaps a part of faith is learning to trust God to the point that being fully known doesn't seem frightening.
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